Monday, September 22, 2008

Happiness

Saturday night I attended the 26th (all of my friends tend to procrastinate) Anniversary party of my friends Keith and Lucy. The party was held at a hotel/resort on the beach. As we enjoyed the open bar and yummy appetizers we watched the sun set over the Gulf of Mexico. There were around 70 guests. Dinner was very good and there was a band and dancing. Lucy’s sister and her husband along with her brother and some very cute children put on a hilarious skit chronicling Keith and Lucy’s path to 26 years of happiness together – and they are truly a very happy couple.

Yesterday I watched multiple episodes of Bridezillas (there was NOTHING else on). I have never seen so many self centered, nasty women in my life. Why anyone would want to marry these women is beyond me. These couples will not make it 6 years let alone 26. I’m sure some won’t make it 6 months.

So I got to thinking – what really makes a happy marriage?

I’ve heard many say it’s all about communication. Communication is important - depending on what you say. The couples on Bridezillas were doing a lot of communicating but it was all really bad.

I think the secret to a happy marriage is respect. Respect you spouse for who he or she is as an individual. It doesn’t mean you have to always agree with them (how boring would that be?) but you should respect their right to their opinion. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. The lesson I’ve learned is to think before you speak. Disrespect cuts to the bone and is never really forgotten. If you love someone, you should never purposeful hurt them.

Keith and Lucy have that kind of marriage and I am sure that some day they will celebrate their 51st anniversary and I hope I am still here to see it.

2 comments:

Wendy said...

Amazing isn't it! I find myself screaming RUUNNNNN!!! Why in the heck these men would go into a committed relationship with some of these women I will never understand.

I also partake in a few rounds of Bridezilla(it is like a bad train wreck, you don't want to watch but you just have to ) It will always amaze me on how awful thes girls(not women because they have no class or style) can be. What do these men think. If thier bride freaks out over the pressure of planning a wedding, how does he think she will react with the pressures of children, or the pressure of a very sick long term illnes of her spouse or the pressures of money!

I agree with the "must have respect" statement. Your spouse is the person you know the most about and therfore gives you the most ammunition to hurl at them in a dispute. In the very beginning of my marrage we realized very early on yelling at the top of our lungs did not resolve our issue any quicker. Nor did foul lauguage, or hurtful digs. Our 71/2 year union can not match up to your friends 26 years, my sisters 32 years and your umbteen years, but I know we have a better chance then those Wife-wannabe's any day.
Love you W.

Dave said...

A close second might be tolerance.